Ha Ha! Are You Serious?

OK, so, I love my husband, I really do, but yesterday, I had to laugh at him so hard. Well, not to his face as that probably would have really pissed him off, but to my self definetly! I had some sewing that I HAD to get done by yesterday evening. I told him I had to have his help with the girls (specifically Jillian). Well, after we got Jillian down for a nap, I was sewing and he wanted to go to the gym which I was find with. He gave me a kiss and asked me, "Do you think you can handle them while I am gone?" I laughed and said, "Uh, Yeah, I handle them everyday by myself." He replied with, "Well, when I come home everyday you are flustered and upset." (Which is SO NOT true by the way!) I told him that was fine, next weekend, I would take off on Suncay and he could spend the whole day by himself with the girls and see how he does. He just kind of laughed, gave me a kiss and left. I handled things just fine while he was gone. Later yesterday evening, I wanted to go to a class at the gym. I fed Jillian really well before I left, but left him a bottle just in case. I figured they would be fine. I came home about an hour and 20 minutes later and he was SO frustrated! He told me that we were just about short one daughter. He said Jillian screamed for 45 minutes even though he fed her, changed her, burped her, etc...and finally just laid her down and let her scream herself to sleep. I really just had to laugh. Guess he could only handle an hour's worth, huh? :) Just goes to show doesn't it? I don't think he is probably ready to handle both of them for the whole day.

I tried a Pilates/Yoga (PIYO) class last night for the first time. It was interesting. I think that I am going to have to try it a few times before I decide if I like it or not. I was definetly more relaxed after the class, well, that is until I came home and dealt with the above situation. :)

I did get my sewing done. I really enjoy doing it. I still have to make a pair of jeans for Layla for her 3rd birthday (Holy Crap...3 years old?!?! WOW!). I will get that done this week easy though. I wantto make some other things too. I really enjoy sewing. It is relaxing, well, except when I screw stuff up which I am prone to do.

All for now! Love to all!

All is good!

Everything is OK! I do have an infection, but anti-biotics will fix it up. Thank you Lord, Thank you!

Fear

There have been many times in my life when I have felt fear. When I went into early labor with Layla (thankfully that was stopped), when I was having Jillian and it hurt SO bad, when Mom was in the hospital, when Dad was in the hospital. When the doctor told us it would be hard on me to have more children (we don't really want more, but it was scary to hear). Today I feel fear. I know in my heart that it is an unfounded fear and that everything is fine. But, I can't help but be a little fearful. I have developed what we THINK is a clogged milk duct in my breast. Well, it isn't getting better. There are no signs of infection, just a raised section of my breast and PAIN! The lactation nurse that I originally saw last Friday thought it w0uld be a good idea to see my doctor when I talked with her yesterday. I called to make an appointment for today. The nurse told me they would do an ultra sound because a mammogram is ineffective since I am nursing, That one single word struck fear in my heart...mammogram. The big C word runs pretty rampent in my family. I'm sure that is NOT what this is, but I can't help but associate it when I hear that I should have a mammogram, you know? Again, I'm sure this fear is unfounded and rediculous, but I can't help it. Wish me luck I guess. My appointment is this afternoon. I will post later and tell how it went.

Another Day...Another Poopy Diaper

Somedays it feels like that is all that I do. Change diapers and clean up spit up! Oh, add do dishes, wash clothes, make breakfast, lunch, dinner. It is a never ending cycle. I just would love to hve a day where I don't have to do ANY of that. Just a day to myself. I can't wait to get Jillian on a bottle just to have a dash of normalcy or something like it!

MOPS started today. I really enjoy going. The women at my table seem pretty nice so far. One of them was really difficult to get a read on...not sure what to think about her. But everyone was really sweet. I look forward to another good year. At least this year, I won't be preggo almost the whole time! :) YEAH! Never again.

I do want to send a prayer request to our friends the Johnsons. They lost a VERY good friend of theirs last week and are still trying to piece it all together. You guys are in our prayers and may God be with your friend.

Purdue Football!

Boilermaker football starts today! Purdue football starts today!! Go Boilers!!!!!!!

Cheater!

Yes! I am a cheater. I had chicken nuggets for lunch today...oops! The last thing I wanted was a salad or something like that. Guess I will have to work out more to burn those off...oh well, life goes on I guess. Will do better tomorrow.

It has been so frustrating aound here. Both girls are really whiny and Jillian is fussing all of the time. And now I have some sort of sore on my boob that feels like razor blades when Jillian eats. I am going to the breastfeeding clinic tomorrow to hopefully figure that out. Geez it hurts. One more reason I guess to get this kid taking a bottle. Soon she will be starting solids...looking forward to that. Although it is sad...my little baby is growing WAY fast. I just can't believe it. No, Theresa, no getting sappy wanting another baby...you are done!
Love,
THeresa

Going To Be The Bigget Loser!

My MOMS Club is doing a Biggest Loser contest and I am determined to win! The pot is over $250 and I want that money. So far I have lost 6.8 pounds in not quite 2 weeks. I have a little over 8 weeks to go. I am following the South Beach Diet and am on Phase 1 right now. I know that once I switch to Phase 2 on Saturday that the weight loss will slow down, but hopefully I can lose about 2 pounds per week. That would work for me. :) I want to be thin and sexy. I have about 40-50 total that I want to get off...I gotta long way to go huh? I am working out almost every day doing different classes at the gym and walking and even swimming. I am doing a class called Body Pump 2-3 times per week. Today I went to a class called Turbo Kick which is essentially Kickboxing. I enjoyed it, even if I didn't know what I was doing! Each time I would get a sequence down, she'd move on to something else...next time I guess.

I think Jillian is starting to figure out the night time thing again. Thank goodness. I haven't gotten much sleep the past couple of nights, but she is getting better. Thank GOD! I miss sleep. I will be thrilled when she sleeps through the night every night like Layla does...oh how wonderful that is! Sleep, blessed sleep!

I'm going a little crazy today. Jillian is so fussy and Layla is being annoying. I know that is mean to say about my daughter, but it is true. She is so whiny and complainy. Get over it all ready!

I got a little down-hearted today during Turbo Kick. I was watching all of these little bitty women work out. They are all tiny and in great shape. It makes me feel not so great about myself. Then as I am moving and all my body is jiggling...God, I hate that feeling! It is just so gross. I am working so hard to make everything tight, I hope that I can get there. I just want to be one of those sexy thin women who doesn't worry about what she looks like. I want to walk down the street and have people say, "Man, she is HOT!" You know what I mean. I want someone to tell me, "I can't believe you have had 2 kids!" I'll just keep working...hopefully one day!

My First Journal Post

This blog is for me. I miss writing so much and I wanted a place just to be able to write and put my thoughts. Sometimes being a mom is so stressful that we forget to take time for ourselves. It truly is a full time job. One you can't take a break from, or take a sick day. It is 24/7/365. We don't get paid (except in kisses and hugs, which are worth more than gold). The crappy parts of our job literally are CRAPPY! We get puked on, pooped on, peed on, slobbered on, and loved on. It is the best job in the world, but sometimes we lose ourselves.

That is what this blog is about. I don't want to lose myself. I still want to be me, just me as a mom. I want to be a sexy wife to my husband. I want to do all those things that I used to; write what I want to write, sing what I want to sing, read what I want to read. I want to be a better Catholic. I want to be a better mom. Hopefully having a place of my own will help me with all of this.

This blog probably isn't for the faint of heart...yeah, I'm probably going to cuss in it (I realize this goes against the better Catholic part, but hey, we aren't all perfect!). I will talk about all things being a mom, a wife and most of all a woman are about. I'm going to write my thoughts. I am not going to be concerned about offending people or trying to be politically correct. I'm not going to apologize for who I am. I just want to be me. I want to find myself in this full time job!