A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about making changes in my perspective of the way I see myself. You can read the post here. I really had been trying to look at myself differently, but not sure I really was. Then, two weeks ago, I really gave myself a good shake. I don't remember what I was wearing, but my wonderful husband told me I looked beautiful. Then my sweet little J told me, "Mommy, you look so pretty". How could I ignore those compliments? So, the next morning before I got dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror. And I mean REALLY looked at myself. I looked at my body from the front, side, and back. I looked at the lovely zit on my chin. I looked at my eyebrows that are in desperate need of some wax. I looked at the belly that is covered with stretch marks (aka battle wounds). Then I started to notice other things. I looked at my muscled quads. I looked at my bright eyes. I saw the definition that my arms have. I looked at my self from the side and realized there is a lot less there. I saw that my hips are not as "cushy" as they used to be. I REALLY looked at myself.
And, in that moment, I realized something. I really do not look bad. I don't. For almost 20 years, I have looked down on myself. I have thought badly about myself. I have compared myself to other women and always found myself coming up short. No longer. As I looked at myself, I came to the realization that all the stress about how I looked was just continually making me stress even more about it. My husband thinks I'm beautiful. My daughter thinks I am pretty. What else do I need? I have come to the decision that I am simply going to rock what I've got. Sure, I would still like to lose a little more weight and tone up some areas, but I am no longer going to let this action of putting myself down rule my thoughts anymore. I have to tell you. For the past two weeks, I have felt like I have had a one hundred pound weight lifted off of my shoulders and my heart. I am seeing myself differently. I am seeing myself clearly.
I'd like to think that part of my new thinking is my re-found relationship with God. I know that he loves me and cares about me, no matter what I look like. I would like to think I am FINALLY seeing myself through His eyes. Now, I know I am not perfect and that I will surely have days where I will get down on myself and start to feel negative again. But, I vow that I will NOT let that way of thinking rule me. I will OWN who I am. Again, I will "ROCK WHAT I'VE GOT"!! How about you? Can you look at yourself honestly and see yourself for who you REALLY are and not who your negative thinking THINKS you are?
Have a great day!