Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas all! God Bless!

Really Earning My Pay....

These Days! If only I got paid! No one said that being a mom would be easy. I get that. I knew what I signed up for. But lately it seems like one of those times when I SHOULD be getting paid. Life just shouldn't be this difficult. The girls are just driving me nuts, things are tight because the economy sucks (which makes Eric stressed too), and our appliances keep breaking on us. Seriously, first the dryer decided to break. It would tumble, but wouldn't heat up. at least it was an easy enough fixed by buying a new heating element ($50 better than having to buy a new dryer I guess.) Then last night the handle and door came off of our oven! Eric found the screw that had come out, but still just ticked us both off, I mean come on...can stuff stop breaking. Finances are tight and this time of year it seems like we all need money for something. I know that everyone is going through this same thing though so I am not going to dwell on it. I don't think that I can write anything that I haven't already read on someone else's blog. Let's just suffice it to say that another economic stimulus package would be greatly appreciated right now. Or how about like $2000 sent to the homes with one stay at home parent? I think that sounds about right. I hope that everyone will be OK with handmade gifts this year! Mainly, the girls are just driving me insane. Jillian has decided that she is just not going to sleep at night...at all! It sucks so much. I can't get her to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. She is waking up both Eric and I and he even slept on the couch last night so he couldn't get a little sleep. Then Layla has decided that she is going to whine, complain, and just be a little stinker. She is copping an attitude all of the time, she REFUSES to poop on the toilet (even though we took away all of her bears and everything she sleeps with), and she refuses to listen. I know she is just 3 and I am trying to bear that in mind, but she is driving me NUTS! Seriously, I think I will go insane if she yells "NO!" at me one more time. I tried to cut her a little slack after her fall on Friday (for details, see our family blog to the right). But, I think she is taking it too far. Please just grant me a little peace and quiet. I have stuff to get done, and just am too wiped to do it. I am thanking GOD that I am going to my parents' house tomorrow so that I can let them run (crawl, whatever) around the farm and play in the snow and generally, leave me the heck alone. I feel like a horrible mommy saying that, but seriously, just trust me. They are being little nightmares right now. I hope this is just a stage. I love those little girls so much and I just HATE myself for being this way with them.

YUCK!

So, I have cleaned up more poop in the past two days then I ever really care too. We have been giving Layla a little juice in the morning to help teach her that she needs to poop everyday AND that she needs to do this in the potty. It is not going well. She just keeps going in her underware. Then Jilly has been poopin' like crazy the past two days too. Motherhood, sometimes, it is just a shitty job!

Borrowed Christmas Questionnaire

I found this questionnaire at Knit for Joy and thought it would be fun for the holidays. I am trying to log every day at least a little something so sometimes you have to get creative. Enjoy.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Usually wrapping paper unless it is too big or to oddly shaped to wrap

2. Real tree or Artificial?
Artificial

3. When do you put up the tree?
Whenever I can get my hubby to get it down from the attic. Needless to say, it is not up yet.

4. When do you take the tree down?
Whenever I get motivated (a lot of the time it depends on when it went up)

5. Do you like eggnog?
Real Eggnog, yes!

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
I think my Cabbage Patch Kid

7. Hardest person to buy for?
My Brother-In-Law and of course I have his name this year!

8. Easiest person to buy for?
Carli...yarn...how hard is that. Granted we don't do gifts anymore, but still, she would be the easiest to buy for.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?
Yes and it is really pretty

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
mail

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Nothing that I can remember

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
So haven't started yet. I'll start whenever I get the chance.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
I'm sure I have, but I don't remember

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Peroigies. My Grandmother used to make them. I plan on making them this year.

16. Lights on the tree?
yep, the tree already has them on it.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
Oh Holy Night

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
We have always traveled. This year we are staying at home.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's?
You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. But do you recall, the most famous reindeer of all??!?!!

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Well, I bought a star last year, but it is too heavy for our tree!

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Christmas Eve at my In Laws and then our family Christmas here at home on Christmas Morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
When people write Merry X-Mas! Quit taking Christ out of the holiday people! Oh, and the fact that stores and the media won't say Merry Christmas. I know not everyone celebrates Christmas, but it still annoys me.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
I love silver...silver everywhere!

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
Meat, potatoes, and my MIL's Pumpkin Roll...Then Perogies too. Doesn't get much better than that!

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
For the girls to have a wonderful Christmas. I want them to remember their kid Christmas's fondly. And on a more material note, I would LOVE a set of Denise Needles.

26. Who is most likely to blog about this?
Carli

27. Lights, blinking or always on?
Always on.

It's Epic!

Romeo and Juliet, Rhett and Scarlett, Jack and Rose (from Titanic)...Epic love stories. When I was younger I watched these stories (read these stories, whatever) and I remember thinking, "That is the kind of love I want!". I wanted someone to love me SO passionately it hurt.

Yesterday, I finally finished watching Walk The Line and it made me think about what Epic love really means. June Carter was there for Johnny Cash and helped him beat his drug use. She didn't want to run into marriage with him. He loved her so madly. I know that he cheated on his wife with her and I am not condoning that at all. That was wrong, but after his wife left him, he wanted June, plain and simple. I'm sure there were other women there to fill the void, he was a rock star after all, but he always loved June. He loved her so much that after she died in May 2003, he only lasted 5 months without her passing away in September of that same year.

Then, that got me thinking about the love that I have. I love my husband so deeply. He is the one that I turn to for everything. He makes me SO very happy. We have the kind of relationship that we can be comfortable talking about anything, but also spending time together not talking, just being together. I will admit that we don't have the "I'd die without you" kinda love, but is that what we should be aiming for? If God forbid, something happened to Eric, I would be devastated, but I would like to think that we have the type of relationship that he would WANT me to get on with my life, not die without him.

Both of our parents' marriage have lasted over 30 years and to me THAT is Epic Love. You can watch my mom and dad and his mom and dad and you know that they love each other so much and always will. They walk hand in hand in this life as equals. They listen to each other, care about each other and love each other. They are friends, not just lovers. I have no doubt that they will spend the rest of their lives together happily married. It may not always be blissful, but always full of love. So, THAT is the kind of Epic Love I want. Not the double suicide, Boat sinking, "I don't give a damn" kind, but the "I truly want to spend the rest of my life right beside you" kind. I love Eric so much and I pray that that is the type of love we have. He is my partner, the father to my children, my lover, my confidante, but most of all, he is my friend and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with him.

This Time Of Year...

Although it is my favorite time of year, sometimes I forget how chaotic it can be. I haven't been to mass in a while and am trying to use the Christmas season as an incentive to go. Yes, I know that church pretty much is it's own incentive, but give me a break. Anyways, we have a new priest and I had not heard his sermons before this morning. First off, I have to admit that I was a little shocked at how young he is. I grew up in a church with a younger priest (probably in his 40's), but have had only older ones since. Father is rockin' a shaved head...how cool is that? OK, so his homily was about making sure we aren't so overwhelmed with celebrating the season that we forget the actual MEANING for the season. Sometimes I think we do that in life, you know. We get so caught up in what we are doing that we don't think about WHY we are doing it. His example was going to Target for toothpaste. Well, you know how Target is, you walk in and there are a zillion things that you realize you need (want, whatever!). Then you check out with a full cart, load up and head home. Once you get home though, you realize that you forgot the toothpaste, the whole point in going to the store. His homily really hit home with me. I do this everyday I think, not just at Christmas time. I want so badly to be a good mom that sometimes I don't just take the time to play with the girls. I want so badly to have a clean house and cook wonderful meals (I didn't say it always happens, just that I want it!) so that Eric will think he has a great wife, that I don't just sit and talk with him or just BE a great wife. In this season, we think so much about gifts, food, and trying to squeeze in as much Christmas spirit as is humanly possible that we forget the whole reason that we celebrate this holiday...Jesus. I realized as I was sitting in mass that Layla doesn't know the Christmas story. No, not "'Twas The Night Before Christmas", but the TRUE Christmas story. I don't think that I talk to her about Jesus and God very much. That is going to change. I remember growing up and hearing about Jesus's birth all the time. I remember fighting with my cousins about who got to light the Advent candles. I remember getting dressed up to go to Midnight Mass, because we were celebrating the birth of Jesus. I want my girls to remember these things and then hopefully pass them on to their children. I think that listening to Father today made me realize that ONLY by taking the time to play with my girls and making sure they are safe, healthy and happy is the ONLY way to be a great mom. Only by taking the time to talk with my husband and be there for him unconditionally is the way to be a great wife (although, I am SURE that he wants the clean house and well cooked meals too!). And I KNOW that the ONLY way to truly celebrate this season is to remember the reason we celebrate; because our Lord and Savior was born. So, on that note, I will try very hard to do those things. I will start reading the Christmas story to her every night. We probably won't actually light an advent candle as there are little ones in the house and that could be a safety hazard, but maybe we could do something out of construction paper so she understands the point. We will go to mass regularly and plan on going to Midnight mass. It will probably just be me and her as Eric will not want to go and want to stay with Jillian, but who knows, maybe he will and my whole family could be together; my wonderful husband, 2 beautiful daughters and a mom that is trying just as hard as I can.

All kinds of Things About me!

Received some questionairre emails...here you go, a little about me!

Me.
Where is your mobile phone? COUNTER
Where is your significant other? WORK
Your hair colour? BROWN
Your mother? REALTOR
Your father? FARMER
Your favourite thing? DAUGHTERS
Your dream last night? HOT!!
Your dream goal? SWEATER
The room you’re in? FAVORITE
Your hobby? KNITTING
Your fear? CANCER
Where do you want to be in 6 years? THERE
Where were you last night? HERE
What you’re not? THIN
One of your wish-list items? HERE
Where you grew up? COUNTRY
The last thing you did? SHOWER
What are you wearing? JEANS
Your TV? ON
Your pets? NONE
Your computer? CRAP
Your mood? CONTENT
Missing someone? GREG
Your car? CLEAN
Something you’re not wearing? WATCH
Favourite shop? YARN
Your summer? FAST
Love someone? OBVIOUSLY
Your favourite colour? GREEN
When is the last time you laughed? YESTERDAY
When is the last time you cried? TODAY
Do you like blue cheese? YES
Have you ever smoked? CIGS, NO; CIGARS, YES
Do you own a gun? NO
What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? RED
Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? YES
What do you think of hot dogs? LOVE THEM
Favorite Christmas movie? NATIONAL LAMPOONS CHRISTMAS VACATION
What do you prefer to drink in the morning? MILK
Can you do push ups? SOMETIMES
What's your favorite piece of jewelry? MY WEDDING RINGS
Favorite hobby? KNITTING (duh!)
Do you have A.D.D.?? NOT TODAY
What's one trait you hate about yourself?? NOT A LOT OF WILL POWER
Middle name? HELEN
Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.? JILLIAN, PLEASE DON'T WAKE UP YET; DO I REALLY HAVE TO COOK TONIGHT?; I CAN'T WAIT TO GO KNIT!
Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? WATER, MILK, LEMONADE
Current worry? ECONOMY
Current hate right now?? ECONOMY :)
Favorite place to be? WHEREVER MY FAMILY IS
How did you bring in the New Year? IN BED BY ABOUT 10:30PM
Where would you like to go? NASHVILLE WITH ERIC
Do you own slippers? YES, BUT DON'T WEAR THEM MUCH
What shirt are you wearing? WHITE TANK AND GREEN SWEATSHIRT
Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? NEVER HAVE
Can you whistle? YES
Favorite color? GREEN
Would you be a pirate? AND GET TO SAIL WITH JOHNNY DEPP...ABSOLUTELY!
What songs do you sing in the shower? ANY THAT COME TO MIND
Favorite Girl's Names? LAYLA AND JILLIAN OF COURSE!
What's in your pocket right now?? NADA
Last thing that made you laugh??JILLIAN CRAWLING SO FAST SHE LOOKED LIKE A CARTOON WHEN SHE SLIPPED AND COULDN'T GET TRACTION!
Worst injury you've ever had? TORN ACL
Do you love where you live? I DON'T LOVE IT, BUT I CAN DEAL
How many TVs do you have in your house? 2
Who is your loudest friend?? I HAVE NO IDEA! I CAN'T THINK OF ANYONE!

You.

Blessed

Sometimes life gets so crazy, you have to take a big breath and just look at it. The girls are growing so much that sometimes I feel like if I don't slow down and look at them I am going to miss it all! How is that possible when I am with them 24/7? I don't know, but it happens. I love being their mom, I really do. It is the best gift GOD could have ever given me. Them and Eric. I love my husband. Somedays he drives me nuts, somedays I don't want to even talk to him. But there are many more days when all I want to do is just sit with him. We don't even have to talk, just to be together. I love that we have a lot of the same views on things, but just enough differences to make it interesting. I love him, with all of my heart. Thank you Lord for blessing me with this beautiful family. I love them.

Ha Ha! Are You Serious?

OK, so, I love my husband, I really do, but yesterday, I had to laugh at him so hard. Well, not to his face as that probably would have really pissed him off, but to my self definetly! I had some sewing that I HAD to get done by yesterday evening. I told him I had to have his help with the girls (specifically Jillian). Well, after we got Jillian down for a nap, I was sewing and he wanted to go to the gym which I was find with. He gave me a kiss and asked me, "Do you think you can handle them while I am gone?" I laughed and said, "Uh, Yeah, I handle them everyday by myself." He replied with, "Well, when I come home everyday you are flustered and upset." (Which is SO NOT true by the way!) I told him that was fine, next weekend, I would take off on Suncay and he could spend the whole day by himself with the girls and see how he does. He just kind of laughed, gave me a kiss and left. I handled things just fine while he was gone. Later yesterday evening, I wanted to go to a class at the gym. I fed Jillian really well before I left, but left him a bottle just in case. I figured they would be fine. I came home about an hour and 20 minutes later and he was SO frustrated! He told me that we were just about short one daughter. He said Jillian screamed for 45 minutes even though he fed her, changed her, burped her, etc...and finally just laid her down and let her scream herself to sleep. I really just had to laugh. Guess he could only handle an hour's worth, huh? :) Just goes to show doesn't it? I don't think he is probably ready to handle both of them for the whole day.

I tried a Pilates/Yoga (PIYO) class last night for the first time. It was interesting. I think that I am going to have to try it a few times before I decide if I like it or not. I was definetly more relaxed after the class, well, that is until I came home and dealt with the above situation. :)

I did get my sewing done. I really enjoy doing it. I still have to make a pair of jeans for Layla for her 3rd birthday (Holy Crap...3 years old?!?! WOW!). I will get that done this week easy though. I wantto make some other things too. I really enjoy sewing. It is relaxing, well, except when I screw stuff up which I am prone to do.

All for now! Love to all!

All is good!

Everything is OK! I do have an infection, but anti-biotics will fix it up. Thank you Lord, Thank you!

Fear

There have been many times in my life when I have felt fear. When I went into early labor with Layla (thankfully that was stopped), when I was having Jillian and it hurt SO bad, when Mom was in the hospital, when Dad was in the hospital. When the doctor told us it would be hard on me to have more children (we don't really want more, but it was scary to hear). Today I feel fear. I know in my heart that it is an unfounded fear and that everything is fine. But, I can't help but be a little fearful. I have developed what we THINK is a clogged milk duct in my breast. Well, it isn't getting better. There are no signs of infection, just a raised section of my breast and PAIN! The lactation nurse that I originally saw last Friday thought it w0uld be a good idea to see my doctor when I talked with her yesterday. I called to make an appointment for today. The nurse told me they would do an ultra sound because a mammogram is ineffective since I am nursing, That one single word struck fear in my heart...mammogram. The big C word runs pretty rampent in my family. I'm sure that is NOT what this is, but I can't help but associate it when I hear that I should have a mammogram, you know? Again, I'm sure this fear is unfounded and rediculous, but I can't help it. Wish me luck I guess. My appointment is this afternoon. I will post later and tell how it went.

Another Day...Another Poopy Diaper

Somedays it feels like that is all that I do. Change diapers and clean up spit up! Oh, add do dishes, wash clothes, make breakfast, lunch, dinner. It is a never ending cycle. I just would love to hve a day where I don't have to do ANY of that. Just a day to myself. I can't wait to get Jillian on a bottle just to have a dash of normalcy or something like it!

MOPS started today. I really enjoy going. The women at my table seem pretty nice so far. One of them was really difficult to get a read on...not sure what to think about her. But everyone was really sweet. I look forward to another good year. At least this year, I won't be preggo almost the whole time! :) YEAH! Never again.

I do want to send a prayer request to our friends the Johnsons. They lost a VERY good friend of theirs last week and are still trying to piece it all together. You guys are in our prayers and may God be with your friend.

Purdue Football!

Boilermaker football starts today! Purdue football starts today!! Go Boilers!!!!!!!

Cheater!

Yes! I am a cheater. I had chicken nuggets for lunch today...oops! The last thing I wanted was a salad or something like that. Guess I will have to work out more to burn those off...oh well, life goes on I guess. Will do better tomorrow.

It has been so frustrating aound here. Both girls are really whiny and Jillian is fussing all of the time. And now I have some sort of sore on my boob that feels like razor blades when Jillian eats. I am going to the breastfeeding clinic tomorrow to hopefully figure that out. Geez it hurts. One more reason I guess to get this kid taking a bottle. Soon she will be starting solids...looking forward to that. Although it is sad...my little baby is growing WAY fast. I just can't believe it. No, Theresa, no getting sappy wanting another baby...you are done!
Love,
THeresa

Going To Be The Bigget Loser!

My MOMS Club is doing a Biggest Loser contest and I am determined to win! The pot is over $250 and I want that money. So far I have lost 6.8 pounds in not quite 2 weeks. I have a little over 8 weeks to go. I am following the South Beach Diet and am on Phase 1 right now. I know that once I switch to Phase 2 on Saturday that the weight loss will slow down, but hopefully I can lose about 2 pounds per week. That would work for me. :) I want to be thin and sexy. I have about 40-50 total that I want to get off...I gotta long way to go huh? I am working out almost every day doing different classes at the gym and walking and even swimming. I am doing a class called Body Pump 2-3 times per week. Today I went to a class called Turbo Kick which is essentially Kickboxing. I enjoyed it, even if I didn't know what I was doing! Each time I would get a sequence down, she'd move on to something else...next time I guess.

I think Jillian is starting to figure out the night time thing again. Thank goodness. I haven't gotten much sleep the past couple of nights, but she is getting better. Thank GOD! I miss sleep. I will be thrilled when she sleeps through the night every night like Layla does...oh how wonderful that is! Sleep, blessed sleep!

I'm going a little crazy today. Jillian is so fussy and Layla is being annoying. I know that is mean to say about my daughter, but it is true. She is so whiny and complainy. Get over it all ready!

I got a little down-hearted today during Turbo Kick. I was watching all of these little bitty women work out. They are all tiny and in great shape. It makes me feel not so great about myself. Then as I am moving and all my body is jiggling...God, I hate that feeling! It is just so gross. I am working so hard to make everything tight, I hope that I can get there. I just want to be one of those sexy thin women who doesn't worry about what she looks like. I want to walk down the street and have people say, "Man, she is HOT!" You know what I mean. I want someone to tell me, "I can't believe you have had 2 kids!" I'll just keep working...hopefully one day!

My First Journal Post

This blog is for me. I miss writing so much and I wanted a place just to be able to write and put my thoughts. Sometimes being a mom is so stressful that we forget to take time for ourselves. It truly is a full time job. One you can't take a break from, or take a sick day. It is 24/7/365. We don't get paid (except in kisses and hugs, which are worth more than gold). The crappy parts of our job literally are CRAPPY! We get puked on, pooped on, peed on, slobbered on, and loved on. It is the best job in the world, but sometimes we lose ourselves.

That is what this blog is about. I don't want to lose myself. I still want to be me, just me as a mom. I want to be a sexy wife to my husband. I want to do all those things that I used to; write what I want to write, sing what I want to sing, read what I want to read. I want to be a better Catholic. I want to be a better mom. Hopefully having a place of my own will help me with all of this.

This blog probably isn't for the faint of heart...yeah, I'm probably going to cuss in it (I realize this goes against the better Catholic part, but hey, we aren't all perfect!). I will talk about all things being a mom, a wife and most of all a woman are about. I'm going to write my thoughts. I am not going to be concerned about offending people or trying to be politically correct. I'm not going to apologize for who I am. I just want to be me. I want to find myself in this full time job!