"I'm a mother, I'm a lover, a chef, a referee. I'm a doctor, and a chauffeur seven days a week. I ain't asking for a medal, yeah I know you work too. I'd just like a little credit where credit is due. It's the hardest gig I've ever known. I work my fingers to the bone. Yeah the dishes and the diapers never stop. Lousy pay, there ain't no 401K. I know this may come as a shock, but this here's a full time job!"--Full Time Job sung by Gretchen Wilson

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Why Do We Do It?

OK ladies...why do we do it? Seriously, why do we do it to ourselves? What am I talking about? I'm talking about comparing ourselves to others. Every woman does it. If you sit there and say that you don't, well, you are lying to everyone, even yourself. We all do it. We can be completely happy, and in the time it takes to watch a TV commercial or even take in a breath, we are comparing ourselves to the woman next to us, or the woman on that commercial. Where is this coming from you might be asking, well let me tell you.

I lost 2 pounds this week. I am EXTREMELY happy about it. I am. I have come to terms with the fact that the more weight I lose, the slower it will come off. I know that is a good thing and it means that the weight will hopefully stay off. So, I am happy with the loss, that was until I went to the gym. I didn't even get into the door before I did the comparison game. Another mom walked in at the same time I did with 3 little ones as well. Hers were a little older than mine, but that wasn't really the point. The point in my eyes was that this mom looked phenomenal!! I mean really great: very thin and muscular, tan and really pretty. She was all of those things that every mom wants to look like after having kids. Then during class I got to talking to a mom that has 2 girls the same age as mine and a little boy that is 4 months old. She looked great too! Seriously great. It just really made me start to get down on myself. Yeah, I've lost over 50 pounds, but still have so much to go. I don't look like that. My belly is not flat and doesn't seem to be shrinking. My arms are still big and since they are WAY muscley (yes, I make up words!) always will be. It just made me sad. Isn't that ridiculous? I should be so stinking proud of the work that I have put in and the results I have gotten. I should be shouting from the roof tops because as of this morning, I am the smallest that I have been since before E and I got married. I should be VERY proud. And, in some respects I am. But it is difficult because I don't see it. Obviously I know that I am smaller, I am in smaller clothes, therefore, I MUST be a smaller person. But I don't see it. I still see that fat woman that is 50 pounds heavier if not more. I don't see that my waist is really getting smaller and my curves are "bangin'". Why don't I see that?

Because I don't look like this:
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Or This:
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Or This:
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(Yes, this is 2 months AFTER her son was born!)

Those are what society tells us we moms should look like. Well, society, you have my apologies, but I don't look like that. Most likely, I never will. I don't have someone to cook and clean for me. I don't have someone to watch my kids for hours at a time so I can have a trainer work me out and help me get cut (before anyone comments yes, I take my kids to the gym for 90 minutes almost every day, but I think you get my meaning here, right?!?!). Society, THAT IS NOT THE NORM!!! Can we say it again? THAT IS NOT THE NORM!!!!! Every day women do NOT look like that. Should we feel bad about it? NO. We shouldn't. Do we? YES we do.

It is so frustrating to me. I WANT to be happy with what I see. I have 2 beautiful daughters that I want SO badly to grow up with a healthy body image. I have a son that I want to grow up to appreciate a REAL woman, not some plastic bimbo (I am not calling Jennifer Garner, Rebecca Romijn, or Heidi Klum plastic bimbos here. They are BEAUTIFUL women and I celebrate them for their accomplishments, I'm just saying again that they are not the norm.) that he has plastered up on his wall. I don't want my daughters thinking they have to look like Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan to get a boyfriend. I don't want M to think his woman has to look like ANY of these women. I want them all to respect themselves and the women around them. But, how do I do that when I have a difficult time doing it for myself?

I need to get over it. My body is strong. Those hips...yeah, they birthed 3 beautiful babies. Those legs...they walked many laps around the nursery and have ran after little ones running away in delight. Those arms...they have rocked 3 angels to sleep. That belly...well, it housed the 3 best things I have ever done. My body does what it is supposed to do. I should revel in the fact that it is healthy and not bring myself down for the fact that it doesn't look like any of those other women. E loves me for me, curves and all. I need to love me for me, because I AM THE NORM!!

OK, I'm done. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Celebrate yourself! You deserve it!
With love,
Theresa

2 comments:

Mamaganda said...

Don't you just hate those celebrity bitches who look awesome two months after they give birth. What you don't hear about is the private chef and personal trainers they have on staff working seven days a week. If we all had that support...

Fifty pounds is awesome!! You should be proud. You did that all on your own without the personal trainers and private chefs!

Congrats!

Life with Kaishon said...

Theresa : ) You are so beautiful. I can tell from the picture on your side bar.

Way to go losing 2 pounds. And way to go having muscley arms : ) That is great : )

So glad you were in front of me at SITS.